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Saturday, March 24, 2012

All good things must come to an end....

See that little thumb tack looking pin on top of my work badge? That is my 5 year pin I received for 5 years of service to the Red Cross. After 7 years, I received the news that the company is outsourcing many of their IT departments including mine. Sadly, this also includes the department my husband is in. Yes, we are both left to look for new employment at the same time. This happened before around 8 years ago. Back then the job market was a lot better and we didn't have Brandon and Faith. We do have our jobs until June so we have a little bit of time. I have a feeling time will fly by real fast. It always does! We have both started looking. We can't wait until the last minute. Scary thing is, altho we have started applying for jobs, we are not receiving a lot of calls. (like one call to every 12 jobs applied!) I am going to try not to let that freak me out.

 I have had some health issues and most likely need back surgery. Part of me thinks I should demand the surgery right away while I have insurance, but I am afraid to have surgery! So I am trying all the less invasive treatments such as cervical epidural injections. I have had 2 already, and the pain is not gone. But if I have surgery, I will use the week of pto i have and won't have that as cash when my end date comes. : /

We have all kinds of potential plans for the future. Before school care for Brandon and Faith. Selling our house, renting our house, renting an apartment, moving in with in-laws.... who knows!!
While going through this very stressful time, it seems that many other things will happen that just makes every day a bad day. The cable box broke, the kids moonbounce broke, many neighborhood kids continue to ask for snacks, drinks and invite themselves over for dinner when I am scared of how I am going to feed this family of 5. I am still staying sober and it is especially hard right now. I want to drink so very bad!!! Some days I am so depressed and I just KNOW that a few beers would cheer me up. But I also know the "cheer" would be temporary and a "few" beers would be 12. If I were drinking my husband and I would have terrible fights. It wouldn't be fair to him to have to deal with a drunk wife on top of worrying about how he is going to provide for his family!!
We do still fight though. With both of us losing our jobs, it is almost unavoidable. I don't want to fight. I am trying not to.

Now my husband is going away to help train the new company. Twice. On Easter even.
It is going to be so hard to take care of the kids, work at night and sleep.. when?? I don't know. I won't have anyone to relieve me to sleep. It will be hard.
And NOW is the time that our honor roll son is failing. What happened? I blame myself. I haven't been on him. Haven't been following up with his school work. He is grounded until Spring Break. So I will be able to count on him for help while hubby is away I guess :) I just made him complete a project that is super overdue. He might still get a 0, but I want his teacher to know we mean business and he WILL improve.

Times are a little rough right now, but God has a plan. I am so excited to see it! I am excited to meet my new co-workers. I am excited to go back to being a normal day shifter who sleeps in bed at night with my husband!I am excited for my husband and I to "miss" each other again. We have been working from home together the past 4 years. I am seriously looking forward to those welcome home kisses! Sometimes life has to be a little uncomfortable. But it always gets better! After all, we are to be "reasonably" happy in this life.

1 comment:

Not So Simply Single said...

Dang! Praying for you sister!