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Thursday, January 3, 2008

Find Out Who Your Friends Are


It is the strangest thing. Since I was pregnant with the twins, I have lost a few of my friends. Now, I have heard that you lose friends when you get married or have kids, but I didn't think that would be the case for me because I already had Zach! There are a few friends out there that I had that were pretty close friends of mine! And since the pregnancy, I started to see less and less of them or not hear from them at all. Well I thought, ok, I am pregnant and they feel like I can't do anything. But a pregnant woman CAN answer the phone and have a conversation! Or read an email.. So I had the babies and I really felt that a couple of those same friends (these are people that I have been friends with for YEARS) would at least want to come see the babies either in the hospital or when we came home. Nope. Didn't happen. Now, a couple of these "friends" have seen the babies 1 time, when I brought the babies over to visit them. And there are a couple friends who have not seen the babies at all, besides pictures shown from mutual friends or maybe my blog. Again, I am talking about a few female friends whom I thought were close friends and have been my friends for years. Since before Zach was born. (well, a couple came after Zach was born) My husband says I should not even care or be bothered, but I can't help it. My feelings are hurt when I think about it. Especially during occasions like my birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, NEW YEARS.. you know, occasions where in the past, we may have got together. And BTW, a couple of these friends are married with children. Which makes it harder for me to understand...
Now, on a positive note.. I have a few friends out there that are TRUE TRUE friends and stick with me through it all! Angel, Sarah, Christina... I Love you ALL! On an even BRIGHTER note, I have made NEW friends since my pregnancy! Mandy - I met on my Wedding day and we clicked right away! She has been so helpful to me and even came to visit us in the hospital:) Kristin (AKA - BFF) I met in Oct of 06 while I was pregnant and she has been amazing and SO MUCH FUN! I only wish we met sooner, before my pregnancy when I had more freedom to go out. But on occasion when I can escape, we have a blast! Kristin has been a huge help to me too and also came to visit us in the hospital. She brought us food and babysat for us, well the list goes on and on. I have made a big group of friends on the Twins Magazine message board! I love those ladies! We have really helped each other out through our pregnancies and now through the 1st year of our twins' lives. (and hopefully we will continue to help eachother make it to grade school:)) All my new Blog buddies! Wow. I LOVE the Bloggy world and all my new friends. Especially my BBBFF - JennBecc:) (yes, a lot of my friends have their own titles LOL) I also made a new friend through Angel's "Weight Loss Buddy" idea. And I have a long distance friend met through the Red Cross. I am very blessed with friendship! It just sometimes hurts my feelings to think of friends I had and wonder why they are not returning my calls or picking up the phone to say "what a cute Christmas card!" If it were the other way around and a good friend of mine had TWINS, well, I would be all over that! Wanting to visit and hold the babies. I am just SO GLAD that I AM THE ONE with the babies:) And I can hold them and cuddle with them whenever I want! I would never change the fact that I had these beautiful babies, even if I lost some friends along the way!

All of the above is why I LOVE the song 'Find Out Who Your Friends Are' by Tracy Lawrence (ESPECIALLY the version with Tim McGraw)


Jill said...

I am happy to be your blogger friend :) I look forward to keeping in touch with your blog!!! :)

canben said...

I had the same thing happen when I had my daughter. We had an entire Sunday School class (minus my best friend who also strangely got dropped when her husband was sent to Iraq.....) who dropped us! The guys stopped calling Michael to play video games, I stopped getting invited to scrapbook events, etc..... They are JUST NOW, 5 yrs later, STARTING to call us again.... I know it's hard, Michael and I felt like we had NO ONE except our family. Just remember to look forward, God always does things for a reason!
And just for the record - had I been there when the twins were born, I would've been on them like white on rice! LOL I probably would've stopped by EVERY week! I wanted twins SO bad when I was pregnant! Unfortunately, the only chance we had were identical since I have no twins on my side. Michael's dad was a fraternal twin, but that didn't help MY case any! So maybe Emma will have 30 years! LOL

Angel Wilde said...

Oh.... I have NO clue why people would do that. You are the best friend in the whole wide world! And Guess what? I AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE! And I love dem babies. All 3 of em! And I love YOU!

jennbecc said...'re sweet to give me a shout out! HOLLA BBBFF!

I feel the same way. All my friends have dropped me..either during preg or after. No one calls and we get no invites to go anywhere. Hubby and I were just saying the other day that we were glad we had each other and the boys because we didn't have anyone else. :( Weird how things change so much with friends when there is a life changing event involved.

Greg & Joanna said...

I have no idea why people would do that too, that is very sad. I would be upset and hurt by that. I have lost touch with a couple of people since my pregnancy too, but they are struggling with infertility and I can kind of understand why they stay away. But still, no excuse for your friends to do that to you. I look forward to being your blogger friend too!

Amanda and Brian said...

Peggy, I hear you on the friend issue. I know there are some friends that I have lost since the girls were born and I am trying to focus on my new friends like you. :) I am glad we can chat on TMMB and we can be blogging buddies.