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Friday, January 6, 2012

Oh here we go!!

Today is the first day I am wishing I could have a couple of beers. It hasn't even been a week! Today is day 6. I started wanting a drink when a neighborhood kid irritated me. How sad that I can be irritated by a child. The scoop is, this child stole a little bag of Doritos from us, hid them in her boot by the front door and kept going back to her stash to grab a chip then come back in the family room to eat it. Another kid that was playing over here kept asking what she was eating, where she got it and so on. She threatened to tell on her, so she fessed up to the girl and offered her some chips too. All kids around here know NOT to eat in the family room. But that is not the issue here. I don't like stealing. Since I heard after the fact, I tried to just forget about it. I didn't want to make a big stink about a bag of chips. But today she came to the door asking to play. I said no, not today, but I let my daughter out to play since it was so nice. I found myself irritated thinking about the chips. Then she sent Faith back in to ask for water. I said no because she lives in the culdesac so if she wants a drink she should go in her house and get one. Then her and her sister sent Faith back in to ask if they could go to the bathroom. I yelled out, "I guess but their house is just as close by"! They came in to use the bathroom and I said "wouldn't you feel more comfortable on your own toilet?" The older girl decided to go home and use the bathroom. This may sound all silly.... But the truth is, a lot of kids come here to use the bathroom, have a drink, eat snacks, get a band aid and so on. Their houses are all in the same culdesac!! If someone is IN my house playing, that's a different story. But to play outside and then go to miss Peggy's house when they want a drink or food is ridiculous and must stop.

All stupid stuff I know, but this stupid stuff is what made me think I would really love a couple of beers. For the taste and to just calm me down and make me a little happier. And maybe that's why kids come here for food and drinks and whatever else, because they are used to this friendly giving miss Peggy. I would really love a couple of beers so much. That means it will only get worse before it gets better. I am drinking diet coke in a wine glass. I love this glass, no need to stop using it! I am going to get rid of all the beer glasses and most of the other wine and champagne glasses. Maybe sell the bar in the basement and the "beer" wall hangings.

Luckily, I am leaving in a few minutes to go to my Celebrate Recovery meeting! I am happy to be going, yet feel ashamed because I missed most of the month of December. :( And you can probably guess why.

Lots of love to all!

1 comment:

Karen said...

You can do it!!! I know you can. My husband and I quit smoking on jan. 2, and it's been soooo hard. I always want a smoke, especially when my boys get loud and crazy. Or whiny. But stay strong! You can do it, and so can I. You are right, it would only get worse if you do cave and have a drink. I keep telling myself even if I have just one cigarette it will be that much harder to quit again. *hugs to you* =)